January 15, 2006

I'm beginning this blog quite optimistically - I honestly have no idea how often I'll be able to write or if what I write will interest anyone but myself (and even that may be a stretch some days), but I'm beginning this with the hope that it will help me through the good and bad times of being a type 1 diabetic.

I often wonder how diffferent my life would be if I didn't have diabetes. I can hardly remember my life before diabetes, which saddens me since I've only had diabetes for four years.. I wonder how I would handle the stress of teaching, a long term relationship, grad school ... would I handle it any better? Or, would I respond the same way, minus the rollercoaster blood sugars during stressful times?

I often wonder how much I let diabetes control my life. Do I hesitate to be more spontaneous because I'm just that boring, or is it because my mind starts to reel thinking about my blood sugar? I used to love to snow ski, but anymore I almost hate to go because I hate the bother of finding some safe place to store my meter and insulin. I also worry of going low, testing my already questionable coordination as I try to avoid becoming a human snowball, propelling down the slope.

On the other hand, I wonder if I would be so health conscious if I hadn't been diagnosed with diabetes. I exercise 6-7 days a week and I eat healthy, well-balanced meals; some days it's easy and other days I trudge to the gym, swearing I'll only exercise 30 minutes. I love to cook and prepare my own food, which I think is partially due to being a diabetic. Even though my mom is an excellent cook who prepares very healthy meals, I love having complete control over what I'm eating.

Diabetes has also made me appreciate my health. I became very depressed after I was diagnosed, partially because I realized I never appreciated my health until it was seemingly gone. I now try to remind myself that I have the ability to take care of myself so that I can have many healthy days ahead of me. I'm going to have highs and lows, but what matters most is how I respond to both - hopefully with the same optimisim that I felt when I began this blog.... :)


Blogger Pseudo-intellectual lunatic said...

good luck with your blog

3:13 PM  

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