It's just cruel
This morning's numbers:
5:30 AM BS 128, bolus .3 for shower
6:30 BS 150 - bolus for breakfast with correction. Eat 32 (carefully measured) carbs
8:00 - 2 cups of hot tea with 2 packets of Splenda
9:30 BS 271!!!
You've GOT to be KIDDING me...
I finally have a good waking blood sugar... then I get smacked with a WTF post parandial....
The possible causes?
- upcoming period (sorry male readers...)
- caffiene from tea???
- stress? (it's actually been a pretty relaxed morning...)
- beginning signs of a cold?? (my dad has been pretty sick lately)
I don't know.
I wanna just say F*** it!!!
I wanna eat that bag of chips handed out by the PTA to all teachers.
I wanna skip exercise tonight and instead sit on my couch with a cold beer and a jar of peanuts.
But I know I shouldn't. So I wrote everything down - took explicit notes - in hopes that in the near future I'll be seeing a new endo who will actually look at my numbers, will actually offer constructive advice, and won't grab his large belly and laugh about how he, too, can't seem to leave food alone. But that's another story.
I'm high. I'm pissed. And now that the bell rang, I have to teach a lesson on one of the most poigniant poems I've ever read. Here is it:
"The Journey "
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
5:30 AM BS 128, bolus .3 for shower
6:30 BS 150 - bolus for breakfast with correction. Eat 32 (carefully measured) carbs
8:00 - 2 cups of hot tea with 2 packets of Splenda
9:30 BS 271!!!
You've GOT to be KIDDING me...
I finally have a good waking blood sugar... then I get smacked with a WTF post parandial....
The possible causes?
- upcoming period (sorry male readers...)
- caffiene from tea???
- stress? (it's actually been a pretty relaxed morning...)
- beginning signs of a cold?? (my dad has been pretty sick lately)
I don't know.
I wanna just say F*** it!!!
I wanna eat that bag of chips handed out by the PTA to all teachers.
I wanna skip exercise tonight and instead sit on my couch with a cold beer and a jar of peanuts.
But I know I shouldn't. So I wrote everything down - took explicit notes - in hopes that in the near future I'll be seeing a new endo who will actually look at my numbers, will actually offer constructive advice, and won't grab his large belly and laugh about how he, too, can't seem to leave food alone. But that's another story.
I'm high. I'm pissed. And now that the bell rang, I have to teach a lesson on one of the most poigniant poems I've ever read. Here is it:
"The Journey "
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~
Located at: http://www.panhala.net/Archive/The_Journey.html
Located at: http://www.panhala.net/Archive/The_Journey.html
posted by LaLa at 10:05 AM
4 Comments:
Sorry your 9:30 wasn't all you wanted it to be (or, should I say, that it was more than you wanted it to be).
I too bolus for the time off my pump during my shower, but still often get that slight drift upward. I've also started to deliver a fixed prime before reconnecting. I find that when I wrap the tubing around my pump, I shake out a drop or so of insulin. I want to make sure that when I reconnect, the next drip of insulin actually makes it into me rather than filling some very small space between the end of the tubing and the insertion.
But, honestly, the first two things that popped into my mind were basal rates and carb ratios. If you're not 100% confident in them, I'd check them first.
The other thing is the glycemic index of your breakfast. Eating a 32C doughnut (as if such a thing exists!) vs. eating a yogurt will have dramatically different impacts on your post-prandial sugars.
That said, post-prandial spikes seem to be worse in the morning since you're dumping food into an empty stomach and the digestion is a little bit faster. If it comes back down shortly afterwards, not too big of a deal.
And finally, I say go exercise, and then come home and have that beer and those peanuts!
Kevin,
Thank you for your advice. You made a lot of very good points!
I'm going to try your prime idea tonight when I shower - that could be part of the issue with my upswing from 128-150...
Also, I do need to keep testing my basal rates and my carb ratios. I'm so bad about this... this is probably why I only have 2 basal rates set for the entire day. I thought my endo would help me set these when I started pumping, but I think he knows so little about pumping that he couldn't/didn't offer advice. I'm hoping that I'll get in with a new (better) endo soon.
My breakfast consisted of:
2 slices of light wheat toast (18 carbs)
1 container of yogurt (7 carbs)
1/2 cup of fat free cottage cheese (5 carbs)
1 Fiber Choice Tablet (2 carbs)
This is my normal breakfast fare, and most days my post prandials are below 200. Today's # really threw me for a loop.
I'm definitely going to exercise tonight - the weather looks beautiful right now, and I'm sure it'll be more beneficial to me than sitting on my rumpus. About the beer and peanuts??? The peanuts, I can live without those; the beer, on the otherhand, may be worth the extra 100 calories if it brings me a few moments of peace, happiness, and enjoyment as I feel more like a normal 24 year old and less like a troubled diabetic.
Yes, it is so very cruel sometimes. It drives me nuts when you do everything "right" and the numbers don't follow suit.
It's so very frustrating and can take some good old positive motivation and work ethic, and flush it right down the shitter.
It's a bitch to see such great numbers and then a crappy one to spoil the trend. It must be very disconcerting.
But, I love your mentality to not let it destroy your good eating and exercise habits. Don't let the high numbers win!!
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