July 17, 2006

Duct Tape Considered

Thank you for all of the advice concerning my issues with my fiance and my family. It's nice to get an objective opinion on the issue. I'm working on becoming more objective - working being the operative word here...

About the Duct Tape (or Duck Tape, if you prefer.... )

For about a week now, I have been really overeating. Sure, it's the week before my period (sorry to the dudes reading this right now... ) , but come on!!! It's been ridiculous! Are my hormones REALLY that out of whack that I must devour handful after handful of peanuts? And at meals - I eat until I am satisfied, and then I proceed to stuff myself until I'm about miserable... and then two hours later, I'm looking for something to snack on. Ugh... I've been working out like a fiend to try to counteract this, some days getting over two hours of exercise, but to no avail... Perhaps the extra exercise is making me even hungrier the next day, thereby thwarting any efforts I may have made to work off the calories I carelessly consumed th eprior day.... See what I mean? Thus, I am considering duct taping my mouth to avoid eating everything not nailed down until this eat-a-thon feeling passes.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has times like this... because if I'm really the only one, I'm definitely going to be grabbing the duct tape.

July 13, 2006

A potpourri of Thoughts

Warning: This is going to be a very disjointed post. I'll try for some continuity of thought, but I can't promise anything.

I'm going to blame it on the hot VA weather, or, perhaps, the summer vacation mode my brain has been in since the last day of school...

1. PUMPING - I'm still loving my pump, especially around exercise times when I can disconnect and then set a temporary basal rate afterwards or before or both, if I need to. Granted, I still have times where I run low after working out, but usually that's my own fault for taking too much insulin at a previous meal and not factoring in that I would be exercising and wouldn't need as much insulin on board.

I got burned by this last night at the gym, grrr, but still managed to get a good workout in after guzzling some Vitamin Water (which I had never tried before, but really enjoyed!) and taking a rest in the locker room. Of course, this gym was filled with workout-aholics who could be cover models for "Under Armour" or some other spandexy company. I want to pelt glucose tablets at these people, but I doubt they'd feel a thing... it'd probably just "Ping" off of them. I guess I shouldn't knock gym rats: I workout daily but all it seems to do for me is to help me to maintain my weight - haven't lost more than a few socks and hair bands the whole time I've been going to the gym (4+ years).

2. AM I TOO NICE? - LOTS of drama lately between my family and my fiance. They think he's stubborn and insensitive to my feelings, and he thinks they are too protective of me and that they are trying to run my life, even though I'm 24 years old and engaged.... Me? I just want everyone to get along and to like each other. I think I'm asking too much. It's like both groups want me to be on their side on every issue, and I'm too diplomatic to make waves, so I tend to just sit and listen when my parents are questioning my fiance's treatment of me or when my fiance berates my parents for being overprotective and still treating me like their "little girl". I feel like I'm involved in a big tug of war, and it's causing a lot of problems in my relationship with my fiance. I realize that I need to stand up for him to my family, but I think I'm struggling to see myself as anything but their little girl. Yes, I'm engaged and I can't wait to get married and begin my life with my fiance, but I'm still clinging onto being a daughter. I know I'll always be their daughter, but that role is going to change a lot once I'm a wife and then a mother (down the road, folks, god willing...!) Any words of wisdom from others who've been down this road??? Just so this one isn't entirely void of diabetes related issues, this constant stress wreaks havoc on my blood sugar for two primary reasons - (1) my nerves are frazzled, so I run high no matter what and (2) I want to eat everything in site and do a lot of SWAG bolusing, but I rarely get it right and end up high and feeling bloated - just downright miserable!

3. BASAL TESTING - this is almost becoming a bad word for me. I keep telling myself that tomorrow I'll test my morning basals, tomorrow I'll skip lunch, tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow... until tomorrow turns into never!!! Ugh!!!! I NEED to buckle down and do these tests! What is my deal????

4. HOT WEATHER AND THE PUMP - The other day it was about 100 degrees in my car, and it takes a little while before the A/C kicks in a cools things down. Am I harming my insulin by not having my pump and tubing in a Frio pouch in situations like that? Also, the other night I went to the golf course to walk along as my fiance hit 9 holes, and it was in the mid 80's the whole time. Of course, I didn't put my pump in the Frio thingee because I didn't think it was that hot, but by the time I was done, there were bubbles in my reservoir.... looked a little questionable.... Did I do some damage there? Pumpers, how do you handle the summer temps???

5. BLOGGING - Once I start a blog entry, I remember why I like it so much.... I should just start a new entry each day, regardless if I have anything to write about, because I can usually crank out enough in ramblings to make a decent size post... not that you enjoy my ramblings.... but anyway...

6. PEANUTS - My newfound enemy. I can't seem to get past lunchtime without devouring a bowl of peanuts. Right now honey roasted are my worst enemy - they're devilishly sweet AND salty; pretty much a little piece of heaven in a can. Of course, eating copious amounts of peanuts negates all the calories I burn at the gym each day. Grr... DAMN YOU PLANTERS!!!

Speaking of which, time to head to the gym to try (desperately) to burn off all the peanuts I ate yesterday.... what a viscous cycle...