Do they know??? and a Pumping update
I felt worse.
Out of glucose tabs (of course), I tapped my dad, seated at the end of the pew, and quietly asked him if he could go to the secretary's desk and get me a few pieces of candy. He returned in a few minutes (it seemed like it took forever!!!) with a pocketful of candy and hurridly handed me as many as I could hold. If I hadn't felt so shitty I would have laughed, but I was on the verge of being scared by the low, so I just quickly began shoving lifesavers in my mouth.
About 24 carbs later, I finally started to feel a little better. The service ended and I headed outside with my family. My brother drove my car home ( luckily we rode together) and asked me repeatedly "You're sure you're okay??" with a worried look on his face. I caught him sneaking peeks at me out of the corner of his eye the whole way home while I tried to make small talk and act like nothing had happened, just another low, nothing big, but it wasn't just another low, it was a scary-oh-shit-now-I've-done-it low. Perhaps it was a good wake up call not only to me, but also to my family. For me, it reminded me why it's so important to keep a LARGE stash of glucose with me at ALL times!!! For my family, well, I can't speak for them, but I think it reminded them that I'm diabetic. I think they forget sometimes because I keep a lot of my management to myself and, also, I"m not around much between school and spending time wtih my fiance!! I explained to them that I was fine, but that sometimes it takes longer to feel fine after a low than other times. Hard to express in words, though, what it felt like to have eaten 3 glucose tabs and to feel worse afterwards...! Ugh...
In other news....
Yesterday at 8:30 my pump trainer arrived at my house, and by 10:30 I was all set! My trainer has been diabetic for 33+ years and she also wears a MiniMed (512 or maybe a 522) so she could give me tips and tricks for dealing with different pump issues. When she left, I didn't feel as petrified as I thought I might. I actually felt excited and -hopefully not foolishly- confident. I know it's going to take a while to get the numbers tweaked and to learn how to make better changes according to my trends, but I'm defintiely cautiously optimistic. :) Actually, 2/3 of me is wholeheartedly optimistic, but it's the 1/3 of me that's pulling me down to being cautiously optimistic....
My numbers have been decent so far, but since I'm about 4 units less of basal than I'm used to, I may have some hairy numbers for a while until I get things tweaked. It feels really weird not to give shots!!! It almost seems too easy after giving shots for 4 years. However, I'm sure pretty soon it'll feel weird to give shots (when the need arises) after being on a pump too.
I'll try to post updates throughout the week as I adjust to being a PUMPER!!! And to think, this process only took 4 short months!!! (Note: sarcasm;) ) All I can say is "It's about damn time!!!"!!!!!